


Alcoholism and broken plates

by Squidbitch



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 15:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15821928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidbitch/pseuds/Squidbitch
Summary: "Well, then."Juno looks up, his arms loose at his sides, and teartracks down to his chin. Though no other part of his face shows that he'd been crying."It seems you've already drained half the bottle."Jupeter week:  hurt/comfort





	Alcoholism and broken plates

"Well, then."

 

Juno looks up, his arms loose at his sides, and teartracks down to his chin. Though no other part of his face shows that he'd been crying.

 

"It seems you've already drained half the bottle." Nureyev says, putting his coat on the sofa, and frowning. Juno goes on binges, sometimes, but it hasn't been like this in a long while. He hasn't looked so vulnerable, yet angry.

 

"No, Nureyev," He slurs, venom and sarcasm in his voice. "Bottle was like that when I bought it."

 

Peter ignores the hurt in his chest, and moves some hair out of Juno's face. "Juno, darling." He hesitates. "Are you alright?"

 

"I dunno." He snaps. "Why don't you ask me _after_ I get some alcohol poisoning?" He grabs the neck of the bottle, and pours some into his glass. Peter takes it away. Both the bottle and the glass. "The hell are you-!"

 

"I think you've had quite enough."

 

Juno scowls, and Peter doesn't want to admit how pretty that is. "Who the hell _cares_ what _you_ think?" He snaps again. "Hey, here's a question, do you think one of your _other aliases_ would let me?"

 

He feels the insult like a stab in the chest. "Juno, love-"

 

"Think Rex Glass would give a shit? 'M not saying-" He slurs angrily.

 

"Juno, please,"

 

"That he's a weird or anything, but he kissed me for a goddamn key, and isn't _that_ weird? Coulda got it while I was gone, or from the registry when i-"

 

Peter grits his teeth, because yeah, he was being pretty stupid at the time. He wanted to have sex with Juno, and he needed the key.  Which did he want to do more? Fuck Juno, obviously, and so that's how his plan worked out. "Sweetheart, I know you're angry, but-"

 

"Hit me!" He demands.

 

Peter is taken aback. Juno unsteadily gets up, and wobbles a little before he's completely upright. His face is contorted in anger, and there's fresh tears on his face. "Hit me now!"

 

"As much as I love hitting on you, I really don't think-"

 

Juno let's out a sob. "Please." His voice breaks. "Please just _hurt_ me." His shoulders sag, and he hiccups. He looks so angry and sad and vulnerable. Does he really think Peter would lay a hand on him? "Just fucking hit me, or kick me, or _whatever._ We both know I deserve it."

 

So he gathers the drunken detective in his arms, and holds him. Juno sinks his head into Peter's chest, while he brings his nose down to nuzzle his hair. Nureyev traces his hands on Juno's waist, while he grips the back of the shirt, and sobs harshly.

 

"I'm never going to hurt you." He rubs his waist soothingly. "Never."

 

It takes a while, but as soon as they break away Juno reaches for the whiskey, and Peter picks it up again. "Sorry, love. I can't allow you to drink anymore."

 

Juno pouts slightly with his bloodshot eyes, and hiccuping breaths. "'S jus' really fucking hard today." He says with his voice trembling.

 

Nureyev kisses the top of his head softly. "How about we get you into bed, and we can talk about it, hm?" Juno nods limply, and lets Peter lead him to the bed. After he wipes down his face with a warm rag, gets him out of his alcohol smelling clothes, and a full water bottle on the end table, he sits on the bed.  His back is against the wall, and Juno crawls in his lap.  He tucks his face into Peter's neck, and let's him trail his nails up and down his back. Between his shoulder blades, and on his waist.

 

"Was there anything that..." He struggles for the right words. "Brought it on?"

 

Juno draws a breath. He thinks for a second that Juno's going to make a joke or a snarky comment. But instead he says: "do you ever just-" He struggles drunkenly. "Just feel like every mistake you make is on a conveyer belt towards a brick wall?  It jus' keeps pilin' up and up, and it's not a good brick wall, so sometimes it jus' kinda breaks. An-and," Juno looks at his hands. "It wasn't even that big of a _deal,_ it shouldn't have been anything at all. But I-I broke a plate and I just _thought_ about how much of a fuck up I am. An' it jus' sucks, you know?"

 

For a minute Peter is off balanced. A plate? His first thought is that he should never let Juno handle a plate again, because he never wants him to be so torn up ever again. His next thought is that he's an idiot for thinking that. His third thought, though.

 

He thinks that he's never even _thought_ of something like that before. If a mistake happens, his next thought is to think of something that can help the situation. Mistakes just _happen_ _._ But Juno thinks that these things happen for a reason, and more often then not, the reason for that would be that he is in some way a horrible, terrible human being. Peter has no idea whatsoever on what to do with that. He could tell him that it isn't a big deal, but Juno _knows_ that, and to him it _is_ a big deal. It says more than he just made a small mistake. It says that he _is_ the mistake, and Juno's told him enough about his mother to know what thoughts she put into his head.

 

"Juno," He says, but for the first time in years he isn't sure what he's going to say next. "I've never felt that way." He can see Juno falter. "But from what I hear, I know it must be... Unthinkably horrible."

 

Juno wrinkles his nose. "'S not _that_ bad."

 

"Yes because desiring alcohol poisoning is completely fine." He counters.

 

"It was a _joke."_

 

Peter pulls Juno back so that they can look at each other. "Was it Juno?" He asks. "Was it really?"

 

Juno crawls off of his lap and pours on the bed. "Who _cares?"_ He snaps. "Who gives a shit if I was joking or not? It doesn't matter." He seems to retreat into himself. His shoulders draw up, and his teeth are grit.

 

"Juno, I didn't mean to upset you."

 

He can see where his nails are digging into his arms, and he knows that Juno's berating himself. He crawls to where his lover is, and touches his face, leads him so that they can look at one another. Juno squeezes his eyes shut and a few more tears trickle down his cheeks. "I love you." Peter says. Soft and quiet.

 

Juno takes a shuddering breath. "How about we get some sleep, I'm getting real tired."

 

Peter nods.

 

They arrange themselves so that Peter has an arm around Juno's waist. And his face nuzzling the back of his hair. They're like that for a long time. Felling the warmth of one another, Peter's hand stroking over Juno's chest. Juno's breath getting steadier and steadier. Dozing into sleep. 

 

He puts a hand on Peter's, "I..." He backs up a little into Peter and he holds him tighter. "I love you too."


End file.
